Politics

Overheard a kid saying this last November right after Obama was elected.
Student: "I heard Obama is really Muslim but is hiding it because it's illegal for the President to be Muslim."
Not so much funny, as scary on so many levels.

Birds and the Bees

This is from a friend who teaches sex ed:
After she explained the mechanics of the egg being fertilized she asked if there was any questions. One little boy shot his hand up: "But I don't get how the sperm gets into the vagina."
All students die laughing, then one kid says, "He's serious. He asked last year and they wouldn't tell him."

Absolute Value

Question in vocab section of test: What is the definition of absolute value?
Student's response: seven

Thinking

Student 1: “I hate using the calculator it takes so long to type the numbers in.”
Student 2: “It’s better than thinking.”
I smack my forehead.

Atlantis

I worked with a teacher who was originally from Australia. The first day of school she pulled down the map and showed all of our second grade students where it was. She then asked if any of the students had relatives from other countries. Being second graders we got some answers like "Texas" and "California" but the best was from one little boy who said his grandfather was from Atlantis. The teacher looked at me with a weird look, can he be serious? Maybe he has it confused with another name? He then continues by saying, "You know, the lost city."

Squirrel

Teacher: In the story the boy saw A) dog, B) cat, C) bird
Student: Squirrel!